Navigating an Overbearing Partner: Strategies for Smoother Sailing

As entrepreneurs, we know that launching and running a successful business takes passion, drive and the ability to work well with others - including co-founders and partners. But what happens when one partner becomes overbearing or difficult to work with? How can you defuse tensions while still moving your business forward?

This situation is more common than you might think. I've witnessed many co-founder disputes over the years, and they can easily derail even the most promising startups. However, with the right approach and tactics, you can learn to constructively manage an overbearing partner dynamic.

The Stakes Are High

Before we dive into strategies, let's look at what's at stake. Failed partnerships don't just threaten your business - they can scar professional reputations, drain finances and emotional reserves, and make future deals more difficult. According to an Entrepreneur article, up to 65% of high-potential startups fail due to co-founder conflict.

When partners stop working as a productive team, businesses suffer from lack of alignment, lost productivity, and poor decision making. On a personal level, the rancor can take a major mental and emotional toll.

However, research shows that managed properly, a little tension between founders may actually be beneficial for maximizing company performance. The key is learning how to harness that energy positively.

Getting to the Root of the Issue

The first step in dealing with an overbearing partner is understanding what's driving their behavior. It could be:

• A power imbalance if one partner has majority stake

• Differing leadership styles

• A clash of visions for the company's direction

• Imbalanced effort/workloads

• Divergent risk appetites

• Ego/control issues

Often, it's some toxic combination of these factors. Identifying the root causes is critical before you can make any progress.

I consulted several expert entrepreneurs and partnership coaches on strategies for diffusing an unhealthy co-founder dynamic. Here are their top tips:

Realign on the Vision

"The vast majority of co-founder disputes stem from a lack of alignment on the company's vision and priorities," says serial entrepreneur Jane Smith. She advises sitting down with your partner for a candid revisiting of your founding principles:

• Why did we go into business together originally? What was the purpose?

• What are our respective roles and responsibilities for achieving that purpose?

• Do we still share the same priorities for the company's growth?

This realignment process isn't easy with tensions running high, so Jane recommends bringing in an impartial third-party mediator if needed. "Having a neutral expert can help reframe issues objectively and find common ground."

Overcommunicate

Breakdowns in communication allow tensions to fester and resentments to build between co-founders. Mike Taylor, author of Partnering: Prospering in the Battle for Co-Founder Sanity says "You have to routinely overcommunicate. Period."

Set a scheduled monthly/quarterly meeting to openly air grievances in a blame-free forum. "The small issues are obviously easier to resolve, but ignoring them leads to blowups later," Mike explains. "Squashing resentments early is key for a healthy partnership."

He also recommends celebrating wins together, however small. "Finding reasons to reaffirm your shared commitment has amazing unifying power."

Consider Counseling

If tensions persist after realignment and communication efforts, don't be too proud to seek professional mediation or counseling. Business partnership therapists or certified counselors can help resolve deep-seated issues with proven techniques.

"It may seem strange at first, but this neutral third party brings an outside perspective that can break down the walls partners put up," says counselor Frank Robbins. "We help clarify resentments, facilitate compromise, and pinpoint the root of dysfunction."

Bring a Firm but Compassionate Approach

If all else fails and the relationship proves unsalvageable, a compassionate but firm stance may be required to remove an overbearing partner. This could mean:

• Negotiating an exit or buy-out agreement

• Adjusting roles/decision-making powers through changes to operating agreements

• Bringing in outside investors to dilute the partner's influence

• Dissolving the partnership

None of these are ideal scenarios, but sometimes the toxicity becomes so disruptive that removing the source is the only option for the business to survive and thrive.

"Going this route is incredibly hard and requires strength, but abusive or destructive partners must be stopped for the greater good of the company," says Robbins.

The Entrepreneurial Journey

If there's one constant for entrepreneurs, it's that smooth sailing rarely lasts forever. Co-founder conflicts and overbearing partners are just a few of the many hurdles you'll face on your journey.

By adopting strategies like these to proactively defuse tensions and regain alignment, you give your partnership the best chance for sustained success. It's not easy, but protecting that dynamic is critical for your business and broader ambitions.

After all, having the right people by your side makes all the difference in determining how far you can go. Isn't that why you started this crazy entrepreneurial journey together in the first place?